


feels new to me

by 4419



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Confessions, Crushes, First Crush, Fluff, M/M, excessive use of the word normal, its not normal, this is as cliche as it can get
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-18
Updated: 2019-01-18
Packaged: 2019-10-12 05:12:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,360
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17461259
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/4419/pseuds/4419
Summary: thissong





	feels new to me

**Author's Note:**

> [this](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=7_jVRKsZqWc&feature=youtu.be) [song](https://open.spotify.com/track/3jlPURmflU40Em24oAuv2Z?context=spotify%3Auser%3Aspotify%3Aplaylist%3A37i9dQZF1E3agRdC9oL6aH&si=uzMbdrNNRRGS_0B5D9n4fA)

It's normal. His life is normal. It has always been. For as long as Kihyun remembers, his parents run his life as if playing a roleplaying game, where they have to choose what type of clothes it wears to what kind of job it has to have. Kihyun's life has always been _that_ normal. All fixed and planned just for him, by his parents.

 

That was  _before_ college.

 

Now that he's away, sure his parents picked the school he goes to— Kihyun's grateful, it's one of the best—, sure they also picked the program he'll be attending and finishing, but that's it. They gave him the leeway and let him live on his own (with his best friend Hyungwon) apartment close to the university, a few hours away from where he grew up. Everything was fine, it was going great. Until he saw _him_ and thought he's the most beautiful creature he's seen in his entire life. That was cliche, but Kihyun doesn't have any more to say. He's never experienced liking someone. Ever. How does one describe this feeling anyway?

 

Apart from a few celebrities like Lee Joongi and Kim Taeyeon. No one else. That's it. Never has he experienced having a crush on a human being as near as five seats from him.

 

  
His name is Changkyun, he's from Kihyun's Biology class. He only took this because of extra units. It's not really connected to his course but he just wanted to know more about it. He didn't expect Changkyun to be in it too. Not like he asked, not like he has to. It just happened and now every time Bio class starts, he tries to concentrate and focus on the subject. _Not Changkyun,_ Kihyun mentally scolds himself.

 

 

  
It's been four months since he's liked the boy, and he doesn't seem to notice Kihyun at all. Whenever he sees Changkyun walking near him, Kihyun would try to hide _anywhere._ Whether it's between the lockers and the water fountain or Hyungwon's back.

 

Hyungwon's back is not always a good choice though. Because his wonderful friend knows. He knows how Changkyun affects his timid friend who only knows how to create graphical reports and not talk to his crush, or anyone other than Hyungwon or his parents.

"He's here, hide me." Kihyun squeals pushing Hyungwon in front of him, the younger follows the hand on both of his arms languidly, covering Kihyun's whole body.

"He doesn't even k—"

"Shhh. He might hear you!" Kihyun pleads, looking at Hyungwon dead in the eye. And if he didn't know Kihyun ever since primary school, he'd think those glares are just adorable and harmless. But it's not. Kihyun is shy and all, but when he says shut up, you should shut up.

 

Hyungwon sighs, nodding his head, until "Kihyun!" He says a little louder, making the three— Changkyun and his friends look over at them for a moment, Hyungwon's back is facing them and Kihyun's nervous expression cannot be seen. Hyungwon is trying not to laugh at Kihyun, he's really trying. After a moment, the three continues to chat and went on their way. _Finally._ Kihyun let's out a deep breath, face red from embarrassment.

 

 

The following days went normal, as always. Hiding whenever he sees Changkyun–normal. Trying to stay focus in Biology class–normal. Making sure he's ten minutes early in every class–normal.

 

 

"Are we hiding from someone?" _Someone_ whispers behind him. Kihyun really needs to work extra hard in hiding. He knows that deep, warm voice too well to just turn and snap at it. So he closes his eyes, count to three, hopes he's not as red as a tomato before turning around to face the person behind him.

 

"A friend. Just...a friend." Kihyun mumbles abruptly, slowly opening his eyes. Changkyun has one of his eyebrows raised in amusement. Kihyun thinks he looks really good in that green and black flannel above that grey hoodie and black shirt. The ripped jeans and black converse are a good match too. _God, what the hell is going on with his brain._

"Hm, that's weird because I think you've been hiding from me...if not, one of my friends?" Changkyun tilts his head teasingly, smile wicked.

"Wh-why would I hide from you guys? I don't even know you?"

 

"We have Bio together." Kihyun tried not melt at the thought that Changkyun knows they have one class together. He crosses his arms and attempts to look tall and proud, "Well what if I happen to whenever you pass by, doesn't mean it's because of you." He held his head high making Changkyun chuckle.

 

"Okay, okay. I guess I'm being delusional." Changkyun shrugs while laughing uncharacteristically. "I guess I'll go. See you in class, Kihyun ssi."

 

 

 

It didn't end like that. It never became normal after that. Kihyun's plan of hiding and pining for the rest of his university years until he gets over it and forget Changkyun has been intruded, by Changkyun himself. The boy more often than not, sits next to him in class. Talking to him about the syllabus or what he had for lunch. About the latest movie coming up or the books he like. It's not fair. Changkyun is becoming more and more charming as he gets to know him. This is not in Kihyun's plan.

 

  
Not only in class but also outside of campus. He's seen Changkyun in the diner when he eats out with Hyungwon, if Kihyun is just plain tired of cooking for the two of them. He knows Changkyun eats here too, and it's one of the reasons he likes it here. It's the one time he can steal a glance without hiding behind a bush or Hyungwon's back. Right now though, he thinks he wouldn't be able to do the thing he's been doing for the past four— going on five—months. Because the first thing he hears when him and Hyungwon went to find an empty table is Changkyun's "Kihyun hyung!" added with a wave from him and his two other friends.

 

 

"I see you two are getting closer." Hyungwon eye him suggestively, brows wiggling. They found a table far away from Changkyun's, thank god. But Kihyun can't steal a glance from him now. Not now that Changkyun's smiling at him, asking him what he's going to order with hand gestures. Kihyun shrugs as an answer making Changkyun pout. He looks down on his empty table fighting the urge to squeal at the cute gesture.

 

"You sure it's just a crush?" Hyungwon interrupts his train of thoughts. "Pretty sure you're almost in love."

Kihyun snaps his head up quickly, shaking his head in disdain. "Can't be! It's only been four months!" He defends making Hyungwon laugh.

 

"You still believe in that, hyung? That was primary school. Time doesn't measure when you get to say you're in love with someone." Hyungwon explains, words beginning to soften one after another. "You just...do."

 

Kihyun sighs, "What do you expect? He's like the first person I really like. I've been drowning in books and formulas since— what— eight years old? I'm not used to this." Changkyun is now eating and talking to his friends happily without looking over to Kihyun.

 

 

  
After a month and a half, Kihyun _did_ get used to the intrusion in his daily normal life. Changkyun's not that bad of a company. In fact, he's amazing. Kihyun's not saying that just because he likes him but because they have a lot of things in common, even mannerisms which is weird but cute in Kihyun's defense.

 

 

  
It's great that he gets to hang out with someone other than Hyungwon, especially now that Hyungwon's busy with organizations and his modelling as a part time job, they rarely meet outside the shared apartment. Just like now, Wednesday in the afternoon and there's still three hours vacant before the next class. Changkyun is with Kihyun, and the younger is done for the day. He has the best Wednesday schedule.

 

 

They ate at the local diner, the one where they always go to _separately,_ but now they went there together. They bought coffee at a cafe a few blocks away from the diner after eating. Now, they're sitting on a bench, a cup of iced americano for Changkyun and a warm latte for Kihyun placed between them.

  
"You know that time when you I found you hiding behind the big tree?" Changkyun starts the conversation Kihyun doesn't want to go near to.

"Huh?" Kihyun plays dumb but now, Changkyun is sighing because he knows full well Kihyun knows what he's talking about.

"I don't know. I— It's been on my mind a lot. I can help you if you want."

"Help with what?" Kihyun is confused, so he looks over to Changkyun. Now he's even _more_ confused. The younger is looking down on his lap as if he's asking it about a math problem he couldn't solve.

 

"I feel like you, you like Hyunwoo hyung. Do you like him?" He looks up to Kihyun, eyes still unreadable but his voice sounds eager to please. "I can help you get close to him. Well, you don't really need a _lot_ of my help. He's very nice. But only if you..." He start talking nonsense a few seconds after Kihyun's head became hazy with all the thoughts. Changkyun thinks Kihyun likes one of his friends? Did it go over his head that _maybe,_ maybe Kihyun likes him instead?

 

"Changkyun," He stops the other from blabbering. "Why do you care?" Kihyun didn't mean it to offend the other, but just to simply ask. It didn't sound like that for Changkyun, he thinks, as he sees the younger's eyes fall. "I-I didn't mean it...like that. I mean, why? I—I don't know how to say this but," He sighs.

 

Changkyun is looking at him expectantly. Kihyun's warm latte is probably lukewarm right now. He shake his head, "You know I've never liked anyone ever. Except, well...you, I guess."

 

"You like me?!" Changkyun speaks loud enough for a few bystanders to notice them, but they didn't care. Kihyun shakes his head, as he start to grab his things.

"Yes, now can we pretend I didn't just confess so we can go back to normal?" Kihyun whines, already zipping his backpack.

"No, hyung, don't leave now."

 

The soft plead made Kihyun to remain in his seat. He looks over to Changkyun, the boy looking at him cautiously. "Since when?"

 

Kihyun slumps down on the bench, bag dropping from his lap to the grass. "Ugh, can we please—"

"Tell me. I wanna know."

 

Right now, Kihyun is groaning, his body is ready to be swallowed by the earth, eyes covered by his right arm. "It was orientation day, okay. I saw you and like, it feels like I haven't seen any human being ever in my life. You happy now?"

 

"That's like...a long time ago." Changkyun registers. "You've liked me long before I started liking you." He continues as if he didn't just confess. _Geez,_ is Kihyun the only one who doesn't know how to act right after confessing?

 

Kihyun blinks from under the arm covering his eyes before lifting it away from his face to look back at Changkyun. "You like me? Since when?" It's his time now to ask the same question. Don't get him wrong, he seems neutral but he's actually screaming inside.

 

"When you first walked into Bio, I have never seen a guy cuter than you. My heart just exploded." Changkyun makes a _boom_ gesture as he said the last line.

 

"Are you serious?" Kihyun whines, sitting straight. He wants Hyungwon to pinch him, or slap him, whatever works. He won't get mad, he just wants to wake up from this dream. It's not real. Changkyun doesn't like him. Why does Changkyun—Changkyun thinks he's cute. Cute?

"Yes."

 

Kihyun, releasing a deep breath, shakes his head. "Um, okay, well. That's...cool. Can, can we go back to our normal routine now?" He's so desperate to go back to his normal that he doesn't know how to handle this kind of situation.

 

"Do you really want that?" Changkyun says suggestively, hands now crossed and eyes wiggling playfully. _He's back to normal,_ Kihyun thinks. _Does he?_

 

"Well, what do you want me to say?" Kihyun whines even more, pouting in annoyance. Changkyun chuckles at the sight.

 

"Alright, alright." Changkyun smiles teasingly, leaning closer to Kihyun. All of a sudden the drinks are on the other side of the bench and Changkyun's sitting so close. "I can be your boyfriend." He singsong.

 

"What?" Kihyun didn't had the time to question further as Changkyun's face is much, _much_ closer now. "C-Can you please let me think first?"

Kihyun hears Changkyun sigh and when he opens his eyes the other's face is at a respectful distance, looking at him like an excited puppy. "Of course."

 

"Look, I like you. But this, this is all too much. This not what I'm used to. _This is not normal._ " Kihyun whispers the last sentence.

 

"You can still— We can still be normal, as you suggest. But we can be normal, together." Changkyun smiles, ghosting his hand on Kihyun's own.

"Together?"

"Yeah, normal. Together."

 

Kihyun blinks, hand twitching underneath Changkyun's loose hold. "I have a class in fifteen minutes."

"Go," Changkyun smiles, squeezing Kihyun's hand affectionately. "Let me walk you there."

"You're okay with that?"

"Hm? Why wouldn't I?"

 

"Well, I thought, you know. When you're together with someone you spend your time more with them...I think." Kihyun frowns, eyebrows knitting in confusion. Then Changkyun chuckles, leaning closer to the other, putting his arm over Kihyun's shoulder.

 

"As much as I want to spend this time with you, you have class. I don't want you to be late. Besides, we have plenty of time everyday to spend together."

 

 

 

So they went back to normal as what they both agreed upon. They go back to normal, in which _normal_ is Kihyun and Changkyun dating, and Kihyun might have been a few minutes late, for the first time, on one of his night classes.

**Author's Note:**

> (idk what i was doing when i wrote this i havent sleep well in days but that song made me want to write changki so there we go... im sorry for errors hhh)  
> kudos and comments are highly appreciated ♡


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